College, Life, Love.

 I know I have negected this blog. I also know that I am wondering how people find the time to write EVERDAY! Man I wish I were like those people.  I am a few weeks into my 2nd semmester as a college girl. Yey or whatever... I am tring not to let the stress get to me but it is s-l-o-w-y oh so slowly getting to me and I hate that! Why do I always feel like I am grasping at straws? When will my life finally be like what I *think* it should be like? (Never will. But hey, if I don't dream it no one will.) I am scared of how much I am loving painting. Ha I know I will NOT be an .F.A Major but still my lovley daydreams are nice to sift through... don't look at my painting... heck I can't even get the sketching done yet. I don't know how the hell I thought I could pull this off. (<--- art demons speaking according to Eddwin...) And maybe I might think my teacher is nuts but it makes class interesting. and he makes me laugh ALL. THE. TIME! I love people like that. I think he is part of "The Race that Know's Joseph." Actually he was helping me with my picture and he was talking to the computer! "NO I don't want you to do that... Stop  it. Ugh going to be like that? REALLY?"  To be Continued....

 So back to what I was saying. He was yelling at the computer and I was trying not to crack up but I wasn't laughing because he looked funny.... No. I was laughing because I DO THE SAME EXACT THING! I was happpy cuz then I didn't feel quite so crazy. :D  Ok now I feel the need to address the "problem" that I have. With Valentines Day just around the corner I "NEED" to find somebody to love. Hehe, people assume something is wrong with me because I do not have a boyfriend or really want one for that matter...  I am 18 3/4 (in a few weeks I'll be 19) and I have never been on a date, kissed, or had sex with anyone. So maybe I should explain why that is. FIRST: I am not a whore and I have standards. (That knocks a good majority of the male population off right there!) Second: I refuse to have sex with anyone before marriage. PERIOD. (Just in case you missed it before.) (%2 of guys left!) Third: I need to know that the guy is GENUINE. If there is one thing I hate it is this: FAKE POSERS/PEOPLE and Justin Biber/The Disney Singers. just sayin... Anyways, according to everyone all that I just said before is a problem. Apparently I am not allowing myself to grow as a person and I am estranging myself  from my heart/emotions. I say that is a bunch of Boy Scouts! (Bull Sh&*! for you that didn't get it) I mean what just cuz I am not running around begging guys to accept me and love me I have a problem?! Juust think about it for a sec.  I go and give myself to some guy, he claims he loves me. Sure, we have some good times but is he looking to be with me through thick and thin? Doubt it. and I know he will have in the back of his mind "Was I First One? Did she ever mess around with anyone? Did she get close to? Ect..." And when I am having a bad day or PMSing (All creatures tremble with fear!) He is going to want to be around for that? DoUbT It.

Part 3 in a bit....